I've been batting around some thoughts for awhile now. They are best left unpublished. They'll be misinterpreted for sure. So, I'm going to keep them in my head to fester further for now.
Instead I'll share this song lyric because it says some of it better than I can right now. Thank you Annie Stela for writing it and KCRW for playing it that day.
I strongly suggest you give it a listen too.
Heart
Hallelujah, the spring is bringing bombs of purple on the street
I walk the dog and I crush them with my feet
Oh, the morning
The sun too bright and the moon not bright enough
I got nothing new to say except I think I’ve had enough
I don’t believe you when you tell me I’m a good girl
There must be a heart that keeps me here
Away from the panic and the fear
There must be a heart that keeps me here
Did I break you?
I really did not think it could be done
And suddenly the cards had all been played and I had won
So where is the good feeling?
Where is the lighting up?
Where are the thousand voices screaming, telling me this is enough?
I don’t believe you when you tell me I’m a good girl
There must be a heart that keeps me here
Away from the panic and the fear
There must be a heart that keeps me here
Oh, everyday and ordinary, does it make me happy?
Does it curl beneath the surface of my skin
Will I let it in?
There must be a heart that keeps me here
Away from the panic and the fear
There must be a heart that keeps me here
