Shiny and New

Flaxey Flies Again

Ah, the stories you can glean from air travel. From start to finish there is opportunity for adventure at every turn. This weekend jaunt was no different.

The story is short but the lesson is long.

Airport bathroom is the mise en scene. We see our heroine exit the stall and walk toward the sinks. (She is dressed sensibly and is listening to music the entire time.) As she passes the handicapped stall she is almost knocked to the floor by a tall twentysomething by the swinging of the stall door. Midge gives her a look that says 'I command this restroom and all who enter it!' and rapidly exits.
Our heroine is annoyed by the continued lack of courtesy in our culture but moves on to the sinks still grooving to the tunes.



Then she is tapped on the shoulder by the janitor who is holding a driver's license and a boarding pass. She shakes her head; no it's not mine and finishes the wash.

Midge comes racing back in to the restroom, frantically searching for her VERY IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS. Our heroine assists her and points to the pleasant janitor lady who is holding the VID's belonging to Midge.
Midge grabs them and exits frantically without so much as a thank you to anyone.

Please note that without these items air travel becomes extremely difficult and something tells us that Midge's people skills need a charm school refresher.

Upon her second rude exit of the day, our heroine even more irritated with Midge's blatant disregard for anyone but herself utters aloud; "Stupid Girl".



We suspect that this muttering was louder than intended due to the headphones in her ears, because the woman at the sink gave her a rather dirty look and what happens next is confirmation of this as well.

Our heroine begins to exit the restroom and is impeded by Midge returning to her Airport Bathroom Kingdom. She says,
"Did you call me a stupid girl?"
Our heroine shrugs her off and keeps walking, saying nothing.

Midge runs off to her gate and our heroine is relieved that they are not on the same flight.


Tags:
Pink
travel
midge
midge fly
shirley manson
airports
charm school

Lessons in Boring Economics

Life's lessons are often learned but rarely remembered.

What's the best way to learn to ride a bike? Training wheels? Nope. Gravity.

Gravity is your reality whether you understand it or not.

You won't escape it and eventually the ground comes up to meet you with one hundred percent accuracy.

Here comes the boring part. Perhaps you've already stopped reading because you're feeling a math exercise approaching?



Everyone is faced with making economic decisions every single day. You are programmed at a young age to incorporate factors such as popularity, cost comparisons, and even irrational emotional reactions when making these decisions. So you struggle through life making the same unconscious economic decisions others make that continue to drain your never adequate income.

And that's the first boring economic lesson:

1. Your income will never be adequate to escape gravity. Never. You can trade your health for wealth but the ground still comes up to meet you.

Here's where we could wax the philosophical hair right off the Neanderthal psyche in bold ripping motions exposing the raw meaning of life. But that would be like petting a burning dog...a painful distraction with no upside.
Try and stay on target here. Economics and Gravity.

The second economic lesson?

2. Consuming your valuable time agonizing over trivial economic decisions actually costs you more than you realize. And trivial is not defined by the size of the purchase. It's defined by gravity again.

What does that mean? Well, quite simply, it means do you value your time in free-fall? Or have you succumbed to filling that time with distractions?



And today's third lesson is a lesson everyone eventually learns...typically too late.

3. Every economic decision is trivial. Every single one. Other decisions are more important and will impact your life with greater magnitude.

It's up to you to figure out what those are. Don't take too long. Gravity taught you how to ride your bike and it's busy making sure you'll eventually learn the meaning of life. And since there's no blog in Heaven and probably not one in Hell either, it's unlikely you'll be sharing that lesson with the people who matter to you.

Big sky above you, a river inside. Much to learn, you still have, Padawons.

Much to learn, Much to remember.

Tags:
gravity
economics
star wars
bike riding
sky diving
Heather Nova
Padawons
the meaning of life
time

Blitzkrieg

Stay tuned for a guest blog and then you will understand today's title.

I'd like to share with you a little snippet of funny courtesy of small town, homegrown radio. It's called the trading post and people call in and try to sell their crap or get some crap. Then the station posts the items online. More than likely to avoid another type of blitzkrieg where people are calling in and asking "What's the number for the cats?"

Here are a two exchanges between me and a friend regarding some of these calls.

> CALLER #9 looking for tote goat or scooter ***-5231
>
> I've never heard of a tote goat? What do you suppose that is?


You know, when you need to take your goat with you. All the serious
goat herders use them now. Once they started wearing business attire, all
the goat herders that were still using leashes were just looked down
upon... especially at Herd-Con conventions. The cow tote hasn't been as
successful.

Read #2 and # 6
> CALLER #2 3 CATS NEED TO FIND HOMES 3**-2442
> CALLER #3 2 COUCHES AND SIDE CHAIR $50 3**-2199
> CALLER #4 4 WHEELER TIRES SOME WITH RIMS $20 FOR ALL AND LOOKING FOR A GAS
> STOVE 3**-8372
> CALLER #5 SEWING MACHINE IN CABINET 3**-1739
> CALLER #6 LOOKING FOR TWO KITTENS 3**-2079



Yes, I agree... Cats do need to find homes. Stupid homeless cats.

Caller number 6 should check in the cabinet, that's where the sewing
machine was!

Why did Caller #6 even call in??? Did they not just hear Caller #2 say,
"hey, I have some cats, you want em?"

The funniest part is the fact that these are still funny. You would think
that eventually the person posting these would just write, "For sale:
three cats." Or, "WTB: two kittens."

For more country mouse fun visit Cow Abduction.

Tags
cow abduction
hometown radio
blitzkrieg
cats
goats
trading post

For My Nifty Boss

I feel the need to explain...This post is to create a link to the above picture for, yep, you guessed it! The one below is for me; aren't I cute?

Title Free

With baited breath I know all are awaiting the next entry.

Sadly, I don't have any subject matter to regale you with these days. Which honestly, is much sadder for me than it is you.

I traveled but it was uneventful in the way of air transportation.

I can say that I picked up the latest Train record. It's not particularly memorable but there are a few decent tracks.

I've been playing the hell out of my Cory Sipper disc. I discovered Cory's song "Mermaid" while working at SDSU a few years ago. Still is the best track on this record. "Ice" is the next favorite. Buy it at CdBaby.

Apparently, in addition to it being Mardi Gras, it's also National Tooth Fairy Day and International Pancake Day.

A Tale of Two Knees

Once upon a time a citygirl lived in the country, or rather a very small rural town in a western State.

She went to the high school's required freshman Physical Education class and was forced to play the games the teacher (or coach; if you can even call him that) thought were good curriculum. One of those games was volleyball. Not being very adept at sports in general, this team sport wasn't nearly as enticing as the quarterly President's Council on Physical Fitness Test, but nonetheless she played the wretched game of volleyball.

And it would be her last game for all eternity. Which of course was a blessing and a curse.

A dislocated patella (or knee cap) was the result that fateful day. That knee cap was in another building and yet the "coach" thought she could walk it off. No ambulance was called, no doctor, only the mother and after what seemed like an eternity the girl was whisked away, with that knee cap still sticking out, in a rust 1978 Cadillac DeVille, to the emergency room. As luck would have it the visiting orthopaedic doctor from the next town over was still there and he popped that knee cap back in its proper position before he headed out the door.

The subsequent years brought more dislocations (the patella would pop out and then right back in again), knee swelling, and pain. Although never as severe as the first incident the wear and tear of these dislocations took its toll.

Years and years later the citygirl was going about her daily workout and the knee locked and wouldn't work. It didn't dislocate like it had so many times before, but it wanted to. Instead it blew up like a balloon and she lost the use of that knee that day.



"Maybe, I should see the doctor?", she mused.

And she did. The news wasn't good, but she was moving in a week and could do nothing to fix it.

Another year, another doctor and another set of X-Rays later, the diagnosis made a little arthroscopic surgery necessary. While contemplating the ramifications of this course of action, the citygirl was laid off and not only had instability in the knee but instability in life.

Our story brings us now to the present day. Mostly because the time between doctor number two and doctor number three isn't very interesting for this story about unstable knee caps.

Finally, the citygirl is able to schedule the arthroscopy and it is a success. It went a little something like this.

At the pre-operative appointment the day before surgery she was informed that her previously scheduled time of 7:30AM was now 8:30 AM. She wondered why no one had called her. But no matter, that meant a little extra sleep.

Upon arriving and checking in she was ushered into the holding area to be prepared with an IV, booties, standard issue hospital gown, and weird blue hair net. She endured two attempts for that IV, one in each hand and laid in the holding area for several hours while six people came in after her and went to surgery before her. There were many trips made to the bathroom. It probably made the nurses crazy.

Then finally it was her turn and let me tell you that I think she enjoyed the anethesia a little too much.





It is now one week post-op and all is well. The knee cap is back in its proper slot and the citygirl is tired but doing well. She thanks the fabulous doctor because not only is he kinda cute, but he's the best there is and she has a relatively new and non-crunchy knee.



knee surgery, anesthesia,president/'s council on physical fitness, volleyball, PE Class, arthroscopy, knee cap, patella

Where's My Hovercraft??

I've mused about traffic in this fine metropolis before, see Holiday Rants and Rain in SoCal, but today it is really on my nerves!

It was an easy drive from Thanksgiving up until last Monday when all the stupid college kids went back to school and everyone started going back to work. GRRRRR.



There's nothing that can be done and that is the eternally frustrating part.

Luckily, these fine folks at Weekend Projects With Beer have made some strides in the hovercraft arena.

Tags: los angeles traffic, hovercraft, weekend projects with beer

Two Birds

This blog contains one thing; a link.

This story made me laugh so hard I just have to share it. If you need a good laugh today and even if you don't, please I beg of you visit this link:

Windows, A Clear Danger to Birds

I still can't believe it came from NPR.

Get Me Off This Plane

Once again I traveled for the Christmas holiday. It was an early flight and again slightly unpleasant.

I was fortunate enough to share the departure with a good friend (Her story is equally entertaining) and we had quite a time getting a taxi to actually take us to airport. We ended up getting there in enough time and Yellow Cab came through for us. Redeeming the sins of George from my last Yellow Cab experience. In fact the lovely gentleman who drove us to the airport gave us many words of wisdom, my favorite being the following:

"A man who never took a chance never had a chance."

I love that and it's so true.

From there it was mostly uneventful, save the following tidbits.

Why, oh why, have the airlines decided it is a good idea to haphazardly board the aircraft? If I am sitting in the back of the bus then I should get on first, no? Logic is defied by letting those in 16A get on before 29C. It would make everyone happier and less likely to hate the whole experience. But no, let's not make a decision in favor of good customer service. Just because I sit in coach, doesn't mean I didn't pay a small fortune for this ticket. And furthermore, letting me on the plane first isn't going to make me feel high and mighty, it's just going to make the waiting and suffering just a little bit less.
I plan on writing letters from here on out to forcefully suggest that the boarding of aircraft be from back to front.

I had an aisle seat, thankfully, but it really didn't matter. The standby passenger who sat in front of me on this full plane decided that it was a good idea to lean his seat back before we took off. This is also one of the most irritating things on airplanes; the leaning back of the seat. This selfish act removes all leg space from the person behind you and this man's seat was showing its wear because it reclined more than normal. I tapped him on the shoulder and told him that his seat needed to be upright for takeoff and when he didn't comply, I told him that I would call the flight attendant if I had to. We had this battle for the first 20 minutes of the flight. When I finally gave in and stopped kneeing the seat he continued to fidget and bounce back and forth. I decided to "go zen" and just go back to sleep with the perceived knowledge that his life must really be horrible and he is a sad, sad man to be such a jerk. It only helped a little. I still wanted to strangle him. I also thought of how I could possibly sue him for some sort of harm caused to me by occupying all of my leg room. I couldn't even put my tray table down for the beverage service.



Traveling is a pain. Packing and repacking and hauling and organizing. It takes so much time and effort.
I used to like air travel, I really did. Something about being in an airport, jetting off to somewhere for a new experience or to see family or friends. All very exciting and fun.

The airlines and the government have sucked all the fun out of it. Now, I'm going not discount what happened on September 11th. It changed our lives forever, but it can't really be blamed for the continuous downward spiral of quality customer service and transportation safety.

It's the simple things like boarding a plane in a logical way, all the way to allowing scissors back on planes.

Is that really a good idea? Should that announcement be made to the general public? No one thinks that this is a sound, well thought out plan. For crying out loud they banned tweezers and nail clippers at first. That was ridiculous, but this is truly without merit.

Please read the series by columnist Annie Jacobsen about airline safety and you will see that we should be concerned about this.

I digress to the serious side again....

The return trip was even more eventful. The outbound flight was delayed due to "Aircraft Availability". This never bodes well. I had a connection that I was now sure to miss.

I made my way to United customer service to explore my options. It went a little something like this...

"My plane is going to be delayed and I have a connection and I don't think I'll make it now."

"Hmmm...Let's see...you know we have direct flight to Los Angeles? Oh, but today they're all sold out, so, I can't put you on one of those...."

"Yeah, I'm aware of that."

"Well, it looks like you'll have about 30 minutes, you should be just fine to make that connection. And if not there's another flight at noon."

"Okay, if you're sure?"

"Yeah, no problem."

I walk back to the gate and wait. The plane continues to be delayed and I return to the gate agent this time and have an identical conversation. Referring again to the phrase "you should have about 30 minutes."

Apparently this is a magical 30 minutes for this flight, because never in my life of air travel has an aircraft de-planed in 30 minutes or less!

Naturally, I did not make that connection. It wouldn't have been possible even if the gate I needed was in the SAME TERMINAL. That's right, I had to get on a bus and go to what they lovingly refer to as "The Commuter Terminal." No chance of making that little puddle jumper at 11:30. No chance.

At the commuter terminal I nonchalantly asked about my checked baggage. Knowing full well that I would be lied to about the destiny of those bags. I was told, (because of the magical 30 minutes, I'm sure) the bags MADE IT ON the flight at 11:30 and would be there when I arrived. I nodded and proceeded to yet another security line, the gate and finally the tiny little plane.

My bags were NOT waiting for me patiently. I proceeded to baggage assistance, where I was told another little story. The bags were on the flight I arrived on and had not been unloaded yet. I waited an extra 45 minutes. No bags. NO BAGS. I filed my claim and started down the road of acceptance that I would never see my luggage again.

Thankfully, United Baggage Service came through and delivered my bag to me the following day.

That's the end of the story folks. Air travel always comes through with a good story. Remember that when you head to the airport.

Stay tuned for the next one! Peace Out.



air travel, christmas, taxi cabs, TSA, terrorism, airline safety, united airlines, america west airlines, annie jacobsen, Womens Wall Street

A Very Special Xmas - Holiday Rants

As we embark upon another holiday season, people bustle about to and fro and leave their brains at home the minute they step outside. Here are some rants. Enjoy.

1. People can't drive.

Stop talking on your cell phone. Please! Your brain can't do two things at once. Driving is a huge task. Think about it. You are wielding a two-ton piece of machinery around with your tiny little arms and legs. Stop over-taxing your brain with conversations that mean nothing and just drive!

2. People are not ready at the checkout

If you stand in the express line, do not write a check! For goodness sakes, you've pared it down to the ten items or less requirement and are obviously in need of the EXPRESS nature of the line's designation. So, don't you think you should be prepared with your form of payment? Like while the clerk is scanning your items, you should be writing out everything except for the amount. Is that so hard? Oh! I forgot...YOU are the ONLY person on the planet!

3. People should not put wreaths on their cars

Is this really necessary? Must we decorate EVERY single surface available to us? What's the Hanukkah and the Kwanza equivalent? Where is the menorah on the grill of that Ford F150? I have nothing more to add than that.



4. Bah-humbug is a valid feeling

What is with so much pressure to be in the holiday spirit anyway? Although, it's always lovely to be with your family and not have to go to work for a few days do we need to be constantly hassled about being in the spirit? If I don't want to listen to Jingle Bells seven-thousand times is that a crime? Now, I did put up my little tree and a whatnot, but until I have kids and can see them excited about this magical holiday, I'm not going to give into peer pressure that I should be happy that it's Christmas. So, spare me the look.


5. People should not go out in public

If you reach the top of an escalator and are unable to continue moving because you don't know which way to go next, you should not go out in public. EVER. To have this level of disregard for the safety of those behind you and your own person,
(because I assure you that if I am behind you, you will be mowed down. You'll be given a loud verbal warning, but I'll still come at you.) you really ought to rethink the whole thing. I can not tell you how many times I've seen this happen. In fact I believe that escalator accidents are not the shoelace caught in the teeth of the monster moving stairway, I think people are stopping at the top, gawking at the ceiling and getting plowed down by everyone behind them. It's far more dangerous than that stray shoelace I assure you.



Happy Holidays!

Tags:escalator,Christmas, grocery shopping,driving, holidays, bah humbug, car wreaths

City Toilet

As promised a story or two about Turkey Day and my travels.

There really aren't any traveling woes to report, minus the full plane on the way there, where I sat in the window seat at six in the morning with all of my carry on luggage piled on top of me. That was the BEST four hours of my life.

It was a great trip and fun was had by all.

I believe that the funniest thing that happened was the City toilet incident in Boston.

My companions and I traversed this fine city by foot that day and it was quite nice. Then we reached a crossroads when one member of the group needed a restroom break. We found the latest technology...The automatic cleaning city toilet. Well, there was a mishap and well let's just say that the doors opened when they shouldn't have and too many things were exposed to the city. Luckily, there weren't too many people around. And probably the most comical part of the ordeal was the man selling boat tours of the city just kept on yelling his pitch and offered no assistance whatsoever, like it was an every day occurrence.




We immediately found ourselves a libation and nursed the injured party's wounded pride.

That's all I have today. I'm still trying to recover the funny from the depths, please be patient. I hope you found some in today's post.

Coming Attractions

I've been blogging about some deep stuff lately and I assure you that it is not without it's merit, but let's get back the funny shall we?

This week promises more tales of the weary traveler as I embark on Thanksgiving travel. So stay tuned for how that turns out. I'm headed to the east coast and they were warning of storms.

Are you checking out my album recommendations? Here are a couple more....

Lewis Taylor & Zero 7
And this is an old one, but if you haven't checked out Maroon 5, well, what are you waiting for?

I recommend the following service from Real Player...Rhapsody. Do it and do it now, especially if you are not already a member of the iPod cult. There are alternatives people.

As you were....Watch the parade and Gobble! Gobble! (in other words... Happy Thanksgiving)

The Analysis of Leaving

I've heard good-bye a lot in my life. And as a result shed rivers of tears.

When I was young I cried when my brothers and sisters would go back to college after a weekend visit. I carried that on through high school, without fail at each departure.

I cried when important people like my beloved high school music teacher resigned and moved away. She was a mentor and a friend and I didn't like her replacement. I couldn't fathom her leaving.

I always cry at the airport. I'm a crier. What can I say? In fact, so much so that it has become somewhat of a family joke and trait that identifies me.

What triggers this flow of emotions in people; in me? I know there were times that I thought that I'd never see the person I loved again. I'd run a lot of scenarios in my head. Car accidents or plane crashes mostly. Which is completely macabre but that's the conclusion I would jump to.
When the leaving was more like my music teacher I think it was because I was going to miss some of the special treatment I'd received for being a favorite and the mentoring I'd received as a result.

When friends would leave, say at the airport, I would attribute it to missing the special connection one has with friends and how nice it is to joke around and have fun with someone who you like and who likes you. Which although it may not warrant a bucket of tears, it's legitimate.

I think the prevalent thing that we think of when someone leaves us is "What am I going to do without this person" regardless of the reason for the going.
It comes from fear of being alone, of no else understanding us as much as that person does/did, of losing the love and comfort that the leaver provides,even more simplisticly, being forgotten. And no one wants that.

As I've grown up more I've learned to not cry so much about leaving, mine or others. In fact, I've fought tears many many times in airports, at work, in the car on the way home. It's been a good thing. It's taught me that leaving can be positive in some way; that it doesn't always have to be negative and sad. (I could spin out all the reasons why it's okay, but I won't.) Bottom line is it's made me stronger because I know that even if the worst happens that person has loved me and I them and has left an indelible impression on my heart and soul forever.
And experiencing that in this life can never be forgotten or replaced. Which is my version of the following favorite quote....
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

Burning Down the House

I've been burning a lot of the food I've been cooking lately. I'm normally a good cook so this is a trend I'm noticing and frankly it's a bit disturbing.

First, it was bacon. Which can be tricky anyway. I had to throw that out. None of it was salvageable. So, I tried again and watched it more closely or so I thought. There were still burned bits but I ate it anyway. It had a maple brown sugar flavor added so it wasn't too bad.

Next came the grilled cheese and ham. None of those came out golden. I ate those too.

So, I tried something new and put a lid on the pan. Because what often happens with grilled sandwiches in the frying pan is that the bread burns but the cheese doesn't melt and then, well, what's the point? You're making it this way because you want cheese melted on bread and you want it fast!

The lid gave me a false sense of security. Meaning, that I could leave the room altogether and expect perfection once I returned. It was a disaster. But it was the last of the bread and so I ate it anyway.



Then yesterday plain grilled cheese. I used the lid again, which really does work well for trapping heat in order to melt the cheese. I obviously did not learn a blessed thing from the first lid experience because as you can expect that one had one black side and one nice golden side.

And finally, today, in fact the thing that made me notice this charcoal food trend, a simple BBQ beef Hot Pocket. They aren't kidding when they say microwave cooking times may vary. We have two micros in our kitchen at work and one, the one on the top, always turns out a Hot Pocket that is moist and delicious. The other one on the other hand doesn't work that way ever. And I'm sure you'll say, well, use the top one and you'd be right. But you have to use the one that's available when people are waiting to use them and a line has formed.

Anyway, I think I'm distracted and that's why I'm burning and eating sub-standard food. Which I've concluded is HEAVY distraction mind you. Especially when you can't pay attention to the smoking frying pan stinking up your kitchen.
My mind is apparently full of more things than you can shake a stick at and can't be bothered with the nuances of cooking a grilled cheese properly.

You're probably asking yourself why did I just read this whole thing about burned food? Well, I don't know, why did you? Were you hoping for a better explanation for the distraction? I can indeed give you one, but the basic underlying theme is a distracted cluttered mind full of decision-making and juggling and avoidance and sadness and dare I say it melancholy.
But let's leave it at that because I think the funny will die if we don't.

So just remember that if you are burning your food a lot in one week then you should check your mind and de-clutter it because charcoal is bad for you.

Autumn

Living in Southern California one doesn't really witness the change of seasons as much as, say in Maine. But make no mistake the trees still change color here and the weather does get colder.

A lot of people like autumn. I can get behind that. It's pretty and it makes you feel like wearing a sweater and drinking hot cocoa or tea and enjoying the misty grey color of the sky in the afternoons.
It's apple pie and pumpkins and Halloween and Robert Frost poems.

Which is nice.

Today's blog comes with two album recommendations. Sheryl Crow's Wildflower and Aqualung's Strange & Beautiful.

Sheryl goes back to the old days and actually writes some songs we want to listen to. And the Aqualung, well the Brits have brought us another group to enjoy. And though I don't know much about them as yet, I'm grooving to their tunes.

Happy Autumn Chipmunks!

Answers to Jimbo

Rain in SoCal

I feel the need to blog but have no subject matter.

It's raining here and at times it's looked like snow and sleet. Which frankly, would be kind of fun to have happen here. But then again, despite the fact that most of the people who live here are transplants from cold weather states, they become complete idiots in their cars in the rain.

Traffic here defies logic. It really does. You will drive yourself mad if you try to reason it out. I blame cell phones.



Many of you are waiting for part two to the United Airplane story, but if you look closely you will see that it is a self contained two-parter already. Part one was the story of the taxi ride and part two was the flight itself. I know it was deceiving in a way to label it two parts. I blame the "To Be Continued..." used on many TV shows from the 80's.

Did you celebrate Boss's Day? We did! I made a little b-fast and brought it in. We love our boss. He's the tops.

Work Ethic

First; the new Dishwalla and Switchfoot Albums are totally worth lending your ear to. So check them out.

I come here today to write about fostering a work ethic. It seems rare these days that people actually come to work and try to do their best.

I remember the early days of my advertising agency career and how many times I was raked over the coals for small human mistakes. Like small spelling errors (spelling always counts!) or even the ridiculous 'your facial expressions don't work for us'. I really laughed that day.
Every job since has been this way it seems. Always striving to meet and exceed expectations, always under pressure to do the best possible work and 'live up to my potential'.

I've always had an unparalleled work ethic. My parents instilled this in me from the beginning. It is something I am proud of and something that I strive to maintain everyday. And there were certain managers and executives that appreciated it and rewarded me for it. But for everyone of those (who I can count on one hand) there were ten who didn't really appreciate it and took advantage of it.

That is what I resent at this very moment while I am still sitting here at work at 8PM. Things are in a bit of an upheaval in one of the departments that directly affects mine, since a key person left about a month ago. The replacement is not up to the task, to say the least, and why the manager isn't pressing for this person to step it up is beyond my comprehension. (or providing the proper training)

It infuriates me in fact. Those of us who get the job done, and go above and beyond expectations on a daily basis continually get shafted while those who lazily drift through the day are continually afforded the bottleneck they create. (think Stapleton airport before they built DIA - It was the worst airport in the country and caused the most delays)

It's everything that's wrong with the world.

There is no solution. You can only hope that someone will eventually see through the smoke screen and put these people out to pasture or hold their nose to the grindstone. And those of us doing the work still persevere because we have integrity and the ever more elusive and highly valued work ethic.

I Came Here to Say....

...Absolutely nothing. I have no profound thoughts or words of wisdom today. Even the quote of the day is boring.

I'm a little disappointed in the Word of the Day from Dictionary.com. Today's word was palpable. Seriously. Come up with something I don't already know. If I am subscribing to the word of the day I'm obviously literate and have used palpable in a sentence before.

And the bright spot.... A little one's first urban pumpkin patch.

Next time... A Halloween Commentary

Redemption Comes

This is a two part story of a traveler.

We begin with Part One - The Taxi Ride to the airport last Thursday.
I've been using Yellow Cab exclusively for my airport transportation. And I have to say this last trip was a chink in their chain.
Upon being picked up I was insulted immediately by this driver, we'll call George. He thought my suitcase was too heavy. Now, it was about 20 pounds, which isn't that bad. I let George's comment slid off my back categorizing it as 'small talk'. Fine, no biggy.
George then asked me what the best way to get to the airport would be from where we were and I proceeded to tell him. Having taken a taxi from this location several times before, I have the secret taxi route memorized. George had trouble with my directions and seemed confused. Not really knowing George, I did my best to give him directions in an upbeat manner. George snapped, saying "It's not like I don't know the area dear." Then he blabbed something about how La Tijera to Sepuleveda would be shorter if not about the same distance and fare. It's not. It's farther and that means more fare. Then he went on to say something about how I objected to his route. To which I said nothing. George had clearly passed right by his utterance of - "What's the best way from here?" I ignored George the rest of the trip which took longer than any taxi ride of my life. George solved a Rubix Cube at every long light and proudly displayed the successfully completed cube upon our arrival at the United Terminal. I'm not sure I'll use Yellow Cab again. Even though George was early, he was scary and totally rude.

Next came the kiosk check-in. I am totally a supporter of this technology, but people can't seem to grasp it at all. So many kiosks and people just stand there like they have no idea what to do. There were three kiosks open and I politely urged the ceiling lookers in front of me to step up. They had no clue. SO then three people behind me cut in line and checked in. It was totally rude, but justified. I wish I'd have been faster.
When it was finally my turn a woman accosted me with her ticket because it didn't show a seat assignment. She wanted me to help her. I said, "I don't know. You'll have to ask a ticket agent"
Now, why in the world would I know about her seat assignment? Am I wearing a United Badge? No.
If you are going to go out in public and get on an airplane then you need to be brave enough to ask the people who are there to help you. Otherwise you A.) Deserve to miss your plane and 2.) should really stay home.

I've been calling United, "untied" for years. They have done little to lose that title in the years I've been flying their friendly skies. But here is where that all changes.
I refer you to the post about Sun Country airlines. (Please refresh your memory now, otherwise the rest of this will not makes sense.)
United can accomplish their beverage service with minimal lighting and efficiency to boot. (Not as true on this morning's return flight- but I won't hold it against them, just this once though.) They seem to understand that pouring coca-cola into a plastic cup doesn't take the glaring pink wattage of overhead fluorescents.
This one single simple detail has redeemed the entire airline and absolved them from past sins. A job well done! Untied no more!

I'd also like to give a shout out to the neck pillow. This small, yet pliable pillow is a must on any airplane trip. it certainly helped this non-sleeper, sleep. Hooray!

Tags: united airlines, wyoming

Hump Day at the Hump

I love sushi but don't partake very often even though I live near the ocean and in this city it's abundant. Fresh seafood that is.

But last night I found a special spot in Santa Monica that was four stars in atmopshere, entertainment value, and outstanding sushi.

The Hump at the Santa Monica airport is a gem. The best part other than the Spanish Mackerel sashimi is sitting at the bar and watching them prepare each dish.

All I'm going to say is squirming shrimp heads and I think you can understand how much fun we had there.

It also a total A-list kind of scene. I can't tell you who we encountered because it's impolite; like pointing. But should you venture out this way you won't be disappointed on any front.

Tags:sushi, Santa Monica

It Makes Clowns Cry

Put your own thoughts into this picture and headline today.

My list is way too long on what makes clowns cry.

Do the Right Thing & Sun Country is not in Minnesota

You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings. - Pearl S. Buck

That is how I'd started this entry but I have two other things I'd like to discuss.

First, let's get the WORST airplane ride of my life out of the way. I went to Minneapolis this weekend to see my good friends who are expecting their first baby in the fall. The visit was great, the transportation to get there was not.

Sun Country airlines needs to make some adjustments to it's flight schedule and in-air service priorities. If you are going to offer cheap red-eye flights from the west coast to the Midwest then you need to make sure you're little sky wait staff understand that passengers DO NOT need a soda at 2AM! We want to sleep. We need pillows and blankets, not sodas or coffee or any little crapcakes. Seriously.

For your reference, this 737 did not leave until 1:45AM PDT.
I do not have the ability to sleep on an aircraft unless I'm about to fall over from exhaustion. This was one of those times and as I struggled for sleep in the early stages and was just about to drift off, these wizards of airline service flipped the light switch and rolled that damn cart down the aisle (very boldly I might add) and let me just tell you it was like a five minute beverage service. Why? Because EVERYONE WAS SLEEPING!!!!!!!
Need I say more? Didn't think so.

P.S. On the way back they gave us a courtesy 'snack' which they called a 'cheeseburger'. Now I'm not really sure if it was meat or cheese, but I ate it. Why? Dear Lord, why?

Secondly, I no longer want to include my ruminations on this other topic I was going to include in this blog and will save it for another time.

Bad Gyms Abound

I hate LA Fitness. They have the most inconvenient locations in the most asinine places and nothing about the staff or the gym is worth the money.
There are never enough machines and the 20 minute time limit makes it a worthless trip to the gym. But it's better than nothing, I suppose.

Why do affordable health clubs have to suck? Why can't they have nice locker rooms and decent equipment and good locations and parking?

I can answer that with one word: Money.

Fully Occupied

I'd like to share this simple yet profound quote with you today.

If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something I can neither give nor receive. --Dorthee Solle

Now, I don't know who Dorethee is, but she sure is right. How many times do we hold on to things that don't matter and feel stuck by the sheer inertia of it?

I feel surrounded by those who are holding on to 'things' and are miserable every day because they choose to keep this baggage in their heart. What can you say to them? Nothing really. Maybe forward them this quote.

As you were.

A Dog by Any Other Name

July is National Hot Dog Month and there is no better way to celebrate than at Pink's in Los Angeles.

You can't go wrong with the famous chili dog or the Martha Stewart.

Or you can just grill 'em in your own backyard. Because that's what summer is all about. But celebrate you must, because unlike cow appreciation day, this is an easier one to make happen. Take the kids to the ball game and have a dog and you've paid tribute to an american tradition!

All Hail the Oscar Mayer, Hebrew National and Ballpark!

Cows Are People Too!

The greatest holiday is upon us! What, you don't know that tomorrow is Cow Appreciation Day???!!
Well, suit up and moo all day long if you dare. I know I will.

If you are in the neighborhood, the Mecca of cow appreciation has to be New Salem, North Dakota, home of the world's largest Holstein cow, affectionately named, Salem Sue.

I've seen her many times up close and personal and she is a sight to behold. Go here for a virtual tour:

and here for her story:


If you go to North Dakota for no other reason than to see this magnificent concrete monolith then you have spent your time wisely.

I'm still writing my ode to Sue. I hope to have it completed in time for tomorrow's festivities.

Celebrate the Cow!!

My Time in Eden

I had a pleasant evening dining out with a good friend. But it was all shot to hell when I returned home to find that the two front living room windows - ground level - were wide open and had been left this way all day.

I really can't fathom the reasoning behind not being extra careful after your home has been burgled. I really can't. Please, someone explain it to me. Triple checking is always warranted. Because an open window is an invitation to crime! A big embossed piece of parchment saying "Come on in and take all my stuff!!!!!"

Please lock your windows and doors. It's a sad fact of the world we live in but no amount of money can replace the ring my mother gave me.

A Cautionary Tale

Where to begin? Well, let's start with the break-in that could have been so easily prevented. Oh yes, that's right dear readers, yours truly was burgled.
Luckily, the only items missing are jewelry, most of which was junk, but some was worth appraisal. Mostly sentiment was lost but friends, that's still too high a price to pay for negligence. Oh no, not on my part. I know better than to leave a window open in a crime ridden Los Angeles neighborhood, but my roommate does not. Needless to say there's something rotten in Denmark.
The bigger issue and hassle has been the upward battle of preventing the wiping of bank accounts, the stealing of cars and the possible theft of identity. We must be vigilant in our efforts to protect our information. A lesson all too often learned the hard way. It doesn't have to be this way. Keep it under lock and key. Check your credit report, watch every transaction you make from eBay to Ofoto and never let anyone coax you out of your SSN unless it's God himself.
And if this doesn't convince you just read Newsweek's latest issue.

And finally, I'd like to let you know the following helpful hints: If you are stung by a bee and not allergic make a paste of baking soda and a little water and apply it to the sting. It takes the pain away and the swelling goes away instantly.
And the best thing ever for a sunburn you didn't intend is plain yogurt applied directly to the area. It's fantastic.

May your week be drama free!