Post Bump - Blog Anniversary Redux

I'm bumping this post because, well, I can. And I like it and I think it's pithy. Oh, and the sheep are cute.



I can't sleep. That's why I'm posting. I also have nothing to say. Which will either make this really funny as I ramble on with random thoughts or really dull as I ramble on with random thoughts.

This blog will see its one year anniversary at the end of this month and I'd like to thank or rather blame the guest blogger, whose identity I'll protect (after all what kind of spy would I be?) , for fueling the pressure to post insightful and pithy musings as often as possible.

How did it all start? In a Red Robin over a bad meal. I encourage a re-read of the first entry. You'll laugh and laugh because it's true.


I think the greatest accomplishment of the instigator of the blogging madness, is that the bloggers have multiplied henceforth. Sphere of influence my friends.

It's now one hour later; I have now tired of this and will attempt, futilely I'm sure, to seek restful slumber.
So, until next time....read the archives. (I enjoy the stories about air travel the best)

Tags:
Red Robin
Insomnia
Counting Sheep
Spies
Alias

Flaxey's Flag Day

It's here! June 14th. The BEST holiday of all time, well except for Cow Appreciation day. So, it's the 2nd best holiday of all time.

Wave it loud and wave it proud people, today is Flag Day.

I know everyone says Christmas or Halloween but really Flag Day is better. You know it is. Who cares if you're patriotic or not? You don't have to send cards or get gifts and there aren't large department store displays urging you to depart with your disposable income. So, embrace it. Live it. Love it.



Tags:
Flag Day
United States Flag
Holiday
Cow Appreciation Day

Tales From the Trail or Toxin Man and Fuchsia Lips

I'm hiking like a fiend in preparation for a big hike later this summer. There are a lot of cool trails in the LA area and you'd never even know it. Check out www.localhikes.com for hikes near you.
Here is a brief log of sites and sounds from my time on the trail.

Hike #1: Lizards. Lots of little harmless lizards.

Hike #2:
Man on Bike stops to point out that I am in need of sunscreen because my arms are red. No dude, it's called circulation. Maybe your heart isn't working but mine is. Jeez!

Snake. Rattlesnake. Coiled - strike position snake.

Need I say more?



Hike #3: Snake. Garden Variety but quite large. Slithering away.



Hike #4:
Polite 'Hello' with woman sporting fuchsia lipstick. I guess it's one way to make sure they find you if you get lost.

Bunnies. Multitudes of rabbits.
One lizard. No snakes.

Second polite hello with man who doesn't like the overcast cool weather. I disagree. He rambles on to say that one must sweat as it releases toxins. I acknowledge this ridiculous notion true or not and he continues to pontificate the release of toxins through sweat but I can no longer hear him as I have bounded on up the trail. Maybe he should bust a move on the trail and he'd be sweating because I am.

The bunny sightings continue.

Fuchsia Lips has not made it up the mountain and I meet her again on the way down. Poor Fuchsia lips.

The Cure for New Car Smell is....

It's Over

Mini-D is crashed on the couch. Our RoadTrip has fullfilled its intended purpose. There will be no more entries. Our work here is done.

As you were,
-Dion

Super Dion Gets Lost

The title explains it all. Apperantly, he didn't realize that taking the wrong freeway exit ramp gets you on the wrong street which then puts you on a hour long time waster that makes you want to take a straw to the brain.

-Mini-D

Ode to Traffic

Traffic Blows.
I wish the smog around me would suffocate me
Traffic Blows.

That is all

I Have Awoken

Start Mile Marker- Can't find one

I, mini-Dion have awoken in the desert to once again find our speed down from my 112 (thats when the govern kicks in) to a speed where we are getting passed by everybody even the semi-trucks who have to go 45 mph. And all I can say is, sweet. Our journey is almost at an end in about 70 miles. We will finnally be able to rid ourselves of this car that has been sent from the depths of hades.


End Mile Marker- Stupid California dosn't even have mile markers

-Mini-D

Carry On My Wayward Son

Yes, the blog has been seized. A true blitzkrieg by the Guest Blogger and his progeny.

I am sure there are more stories to be edited for grammar and spelling.

There'll be peace when you are done and thank god you aren't actually going to Kans-ass

-Citygirl

Abandoned by the White Wizard

Start Mile Marker - 19 - I-70 West

It's pitch dark now. The moon, which had guided our journey through the Rocky Mountains has abandoned us like the White Wizard left Frodo with Smeagal.




Mini-D is in command of the Chariot. Fellow RoadSlaves toil through the darkness as the City of Angels draws all closer.

CityGirl yearns for "Her Precious". With 742 miles remaing on the journey, the Shire has long been forgotten.

End Mile Marker - 8 - I-70 West
Remaing Miles: 742

-Dion

The Deep Dark Night

Start- Mile Marker 153 I-70 West

Dion and mini-Dion here to say that night driving down the side of a mountain is not a fun task to complete. But we will continue to soldier on with spirits reaching an all time low only 2 hours into the trip.



End - Mile Marker 146 I-70 West
Remaining miles - 893

-Mini-Dion

Good Times at Silverthorne

Start Mile Marker- 203 I-70 West


Dion and mini-Dion are reporting that spirits have dropped to extreme lows and they might not be able to continue to the city of Angels. The last stop revealed that you can have Good Times in Silverthorne. No, not actual good times but rather the sub-par fast food craphole. Also, we have discoverd a place for the gum we purchased, which was the most exciting thing that happened.
The thunderous bass drops of Rammstein still thunder on.


End Mile Marker - 200 I-70 West
Total Distance left-949

-Mini-Dion

The Last Crusade Begins

Start- Mile Marker 255 I-70 West

Dion and mini-Dion report that spirits are high, but it is to early to tell if they can remain so. We're hoping not to get dynsterney on the 1062 mile road to the city of Angels (LA refrence). The oxen pulled wagon is going under the speed limit of 75 to instill comfort in CityGirl. A dark forboding cloud looms over the majestic Rocky Mountains. You can almost hear John Denver sing "Thank God I'm a country boy". But instead Rammstein drives them on through with thunderous bass drops.

End- Mile marker 246 I-70 West
Distance remaining- 997 May the Gods be with us.

-Mini-Dion

Where's the Guest Blogger When You Need Him?

I can't sleep. That's why I'm posting. I also have nothing to say. Which will either make this really funny as I ramble on with random thoughts or really dull as I ramble on with random thoughts.

This blog will see its one year anniversary at the end of this month and I'd like to thank or rather blame the guest blogger, whose identity I'll protect (after all what kind of spy would I be?) , for fueling the pressure to post insightful and pithy musings as often as possible.

How did it all start? In a Red Robin over a bad meal. I encourage a re-read of the first entry. You'll laugh and laugh because it's true.


I think the greatest accomplishment of the instigator of the blogging madness, is that the bloggers have multiplied henceforth. Sphere of influence my friends.

It's now one hour later; I have now tired of this and will attempt, futilely I'm sure, to seek restful slumber.
So, until next time....read the archives. (I enjoy the stories about air travel the best)

Tags:
Red Robin
Insomnia
Counting Sheep
Spies
Alias

Shiny and New

Flaxey Flies Again

Ah, the stories you can glean from air travel. From start to finish there is opportunity for adventure at every turn. This weekend jaunt was no different.

The story is short but the lesson is long.

Airport bathroom is the mise en scene. We see our heroine exit the stall and walk toward the sinks. (She is dressed sensibly and is listening to music the entire time.) As she passes the handicapped stall she is almost knocked to the floor by a tall twentysomething by the swinging of the stall door. Midge gives her a look that says 'I command this restroom and all who enter it!' and rapidly exits.
Our heroine is annoyed by the continued lack of courtesy in our culture but moves on to the sinks still grooving to the tunes.



Then she is tapped on the shoulder by the janitor who is holding a driver's license and a boarding pass. She shakes her head; no it's not mine and finishes the wash.

Midge comes racing back in to the restroom, frantically searching for her VERY IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS. Our heroine assists her and points to the pleasant janitor lady who is holding the VID's belonging to Midge.
Midge grabs them and exits frantically without so much as a thank you to anyone.

Please note that without these items air travel becomes extremely difficult and something tells us that Midge's people skills need a charm school refresher.

Upon her second rude exit of the day, our heroine even more irritated with Midge's blatant disregard for anyone but herself utters aloud; "Stupid Girl".



We suspect that this muttering was louder than intended due to the headphones in her ears, because the woman at the sink gave her a rather dirty look and what happens next is confirmation of this as well.

Our heroine begins to exit the restroom and is impeded by Midge returning to her Airport Bathroom Kingdom. She says,
"Did you call me a stupid girl?"
Our heroine shrugs her off and keeps walking, saying nothing.

Midge runs off to her gate and our heroine is relieved that they are not on the same flight.


Tags:
Pink
travel
midge
midge fly
shirley manson
airports
charm school

Lessons in Boring Economics

Life's lessons are often learned but rarely remembered.

What's the best way to learn to ride a bike? Training wheels? Nope. Gravity.

Gravity is your reality whether you understand it or not.

You won't escape it and eventually the ground comes up to meet you with one hundred percent accuracy.

Here comes the boring part. Perhaps you've already stopped reading because you're feeling a math exercise approaching?



Everyone is faced with making economic decisions every single day. You are programmed at a young age to incorporate factors such as popularity, cost comparisons, and even irrational emotional reactions when making these decisions. So you struggle through life making the same unconscious economic decisions others make that continue to drain your never adequate income.

And that's the first boring economic lesson:

1. Your income will never be adequate to escape gravity. Never. You can trade your health for wealth but the ground still comes up to meet you.

Here's where we could wax the philosophical hair right off the Neanderthal psyche in bold ripping motions exposing the raw meaning of life. But that would be like petting a burning dog...a painful distraction with no upside.
Try and stay on target here. Economics and Gravity.

The second economic lesson?

2. Consuming your valuable time agonizing over trivial economic decisions actually costs you more than you realize. And trivial is not defined by the size of the purchase. It's defined by gravity again.

What does that mean? Well, quite simply, it means do you value your time in free-fall? Or have you succumbed to filling that time with distractions?



And today's third lesson is a lesson everyone eventually learns...typically too late.

3. Every economic decision is trivial. Every single one. Other decisions are more important and will impact your life with greater magnitude.

It's up to you to figure out what those are. Don't take too long. Gravity taught you how to ride your bike and it's busy making sure you'll eventually learn the meaning of life. And since there's no blog in Heaven and probably not one in Hell either, it's unlikely you'll be sharing that lesson with the people who matter to you.

Big sky above you, a river inside. Much to learn, you still have, Padawons.

Much to learn, Much to remember.

Tags:
gravity
economics
star wars
bike riding
sky diving
Heather Nova
Padawons
the meaning of life
time

Blitzkrieg

Stay tuned for a guest blog and then you will understand today's title.

I'd like to share with you a little snippet of funny courtesy of small town, homegrown radio. It's called the trading post and people call in and try to sell their crap or get some crap. Then the station posts the items online. More than likely to avoid another type of blitzkrieg where people are calling in and asking "What's the number for the cats?"

Here are a two exchanges between me and a friend regarding some of these calls.

> CALLER #9 looking for tote goat or scooter ***-5231
>
> I've never heard of a tote goat? What do you suppose that is?


You know, when you need to take your goat with you. All the serious
goat herders use them now. Once they started wearing business attire, all
the goat herders that were still using leashes were just looked down
upon... especially at Herd-Con conventions. The cow tote hasn't been as
successful.

Read #2 and # 6
> CALLER #2 3 CATS NEED TO FIND HOMES 3**-2442
> CALLER #3 2 COUCHES AND SIDE CHAIR $50 3**-2199
> CALLER #4 4 WHEELER TIRES SOME WITH RIMS $20 FOR ALL AND LOOKING FOR A GAS
> STOVE 3**-8372
> CALLER #5 SEWING MACHINE IN CABINET 3**-1739
> CALLER #6 LOOKING FOR TWO KITTENS 3**-2079



Yes, I agree... Cats do need to find homes. Stupid homeless cats.

Caller number 6 should check in the cabinet, that's where the sewing
machine was!

Why did Caller #6 even call in??? Did they not just hear Caller #2 say,
"hey, I have some cats, you want em?"

The funniest part is the fact that these are still funny. You would think
that eventually the person posting these would just write, "For sale:
three cats." Or, "WTB: two kittens."

For more country mouse fun visit Cow Abduction.

Tags
cow abduction
hometown radio
blitzkrieg
cats
goats
trading post

For My Nifty Boss

I feel the need to explain...This post is to create a link to the above picture for, yep, you guessed it! The one below is for me; aren't I cute?

Title Free

With baited breath I know all are awaiting the next entry.

Sadly, I don't have any subject matter to regale you with these days. Which honestly, is much sadder for me than it is you.

I traveled but it was uneventful in the way of air transportation.

I can say that I picked up the latest Train record. It's not particularly memorable but there are a few decent tracks.

I've been playing the hell out of my Cory Sipper disc. I discovered Cory's song "Mermaid" while working at SDSU a few years ago. Still is the best track on this record. "Ice" is the next favorite. Buy it at CdBaby.

Apparently, in addition to it being Mardi Gras, it's also National Tooth Fairy Day and International Pancake Day.