City Toilet

As promised a story or two about Turkey Day and my travels.

There really aren't any traveling woes to report, minus the full plane on the way there, where I sat in the window seat at six in the morning with all of my carry on luggage piled on top of me. That was the BEST four hours of my life.

It was a great trip and fun was had by all.

I believe that the funniest thing that happened was the City toilet incident in Boston.

My companions and I traversed this fine city by foot that day and it was quite nice. Then we reached a crossroads when one member of the group needed a restroom break. We found the latest technology...The automatic cleaning city toilet. Well, there was a mishap and well let's just say that the doors opened when they shouldn't have and too many things were exposed to the city. Luckily, there weren't too many people around. And probably the most comical part of the ordeal was the man selling boat tours of the city just kept on yelling his pitch and offered no assistance whatsoever, like it was an every day occurrence.




We immediately found ourselves a libation and nursed the injured party's wounded pride.

That's all I have today. I'm still trying to recover the funny from the depths, please be patient. I hope you found some in today's post.

Coming Attractions

I've been blogging about some deep stuff lately and I assure you that it is not without it's merit, but let's get back the funny shall we?

This week promises more tales of the weary traveler as I embark on Thanksgiving travel. So stay tuned for how that turns out. I'm headed to the east coast and they were warning of storms.

Are you checking out my album recommendations? Here are a couple more....

Lewis Taylor & Zero 7
And this is an old one, but if you haven't checked out Maroon 5, well, what are you waiting for?

I recommend the following service from Real Player...Rhapsody. Do it and do it now, especially if you are not already a member of the iPod cult. There are alternatives people.

As you were....Watch the parade and Gobble! Gobble! (in other words... Happy Thanksgiving)

The Analysis of Leaving

I've heard good-bye a lot in my life. And as a result shed rivers of tears.

When I was young I cried when my brothers and sisters would go back to college after a weekend visit. I carried that on through high school, without fail at each departure.

I cried when important people like my beloved high school music teacher resigned and moved away. She was a mentor and a friend and I didn't like her replacement. I couldn't fathom her leaving.

I always cry at the airport. I'm a crier. What can I say? In fact, so much so that it has become somewhat of a family joke and trait that identifies me.

What triggers this flow of emotions in people; in me? I know there were times that I thought that I'd never see the person I loved again. I'd run a lot of scenarios in my head. Car accidents or plane crashes mostly. Which is completely macabre but that's the conclusion I would jump to.
When the leaving was more like my music teacher I think it was because I was going to miss some of the special treatment I'd received for being a favorite and the mentoring I'd received as a result.

When friends would leave, say at the airport, I would attribute it to missing the special connection one has with friends and how nice it is to joke around and have fun with someone who you like and who likes you. Which although it may not warrant a bucket of tears, it's legitimate.

I think the prevalent thing that we think of when someone leaves us is "What am I going to do without this person" regardless of the reason for the going.
It comes from fear of being alone, of no else understanding us as much as that person does/did, of losing the love and comfort that the leaver provides,even more simplisticly, being forgotten. And no one wants that.

As I've grown up more I've learned to not cry so much about leaving, mine or others. In fact, I've fought tears many many times in airports, at work, in the car on the way home. It's been a good thing. It's taught me that leaving can be positive in some way; that it doesn't always have to be negative and sad. (I could spin out all the reasons why it's okay, but I won't.) Bottom line is it's made me stronger because I know that even if the worst happens that person has loved me and I them and has left an indelible impression on my heart and soul forever.
And experiencing that in this life can never be forgotten or replaced. Which is my version of the following favorite quote....
"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

Burning Down the House

I've been burning a lot of the food I've been cooking lately. I'm normally a good cook so this is a trend I'm noticing and frankly it's a bit disturbing.

First, it was bacon. Which can be tricky anyway. I had to throw that out. None of it was salvageable. So, I tried again and watched it more closely or so I thought. There were still burned bits but I ate it anyway. It had a maple brown sugar flavor added so it wasn't too bad.

Next came the grilled cheese and ham. None of those came out golden. I ate those too.

So, I tried something new and put a lid on the pan. Because what often happens with grilled sandwiches in the frying pan is that the bread burns but the cheese doesn't melt and then, well, what's the point? You're making it this way because you want cheese melted on bread and you want it fast!

The lid gave me a false sense of security. Meaning, that I could leave the room altogether and expect perfection once I returned. It was a disaster. But it was the last of the bread and so I ate it anyway.



Then yesterday plain grilled cheese. I used the lid again, which really does work well for trapping heat in order to melt the cheese. I obviously did not learn a blessed thing from the first lid experience because as you can expect that one had one black side and one nice golden side.

And finally, today, in fact the thing that made me notice this charcoal food trend, a simple BBQ beef Hot Pocket. They aren't kidding when they say microwave cooking times may vary. We have two micros in our kitchen at work and one, the one on the top, always turns out a Hot Pocket that is moist and delicious. The other one on the other hand doesn't work that way ever. And I'm sure you'll say, well, use the top one and you'd be right. But you have to use the one that's available when people are waiting to use them and a line has formed.

Anyway, I think I'm distracted and that's why I'm burning and eating sub-standard food. Which I've concluded is HEAVY distraction mind you. Especially when you can't pay attention to the smoking frying pan stinking up your kitchen.
My mind is apparently full of more things than you can shake a stick at and can't be bothered with the nuances of cooking a grilled cheese properly.

You're probably asking yourself why did I just read this whole thing about burned food? Well, I don't know, why did you? Were you hoping for a better explanation for the distraction? I can indeed give you one, but the basic underlying theme is a distracted cluttered mind full of decision-making and juggling and avoidance and sadness and dare I say it melancholy.
But let's leave it at that because I think the funny will die if we don't.

So just remember that if you are burning your food a lot in one week then you should check your mind and de-clutter it because charcoal is bad for you.

Autumn

Living in Southern California one doesn't really witness the change of seasons as much as, say in Maine. But make no mistake the trees still change color here and the weather does get colder.

A lot of people like autumn. I can get behind that. It's pretty and it makes you feel like wearing a sweater and drinking hot cocoa or tea and enjoying the misty grey color of the sky in the afternoons.
It's apple pie and pumpkins and Halloween and Robert Frost poems.

Which is nice.

Today's blog comes with two album recommendations. Sheryl Crow's Wildflower and Aqualung's Strange & Beautiful.

Sheryl goes back to the old days and actually writes some songs we want to listen to. And the Aqualung, well the Brits have brought us another group to enjoy. And though I don't know much about them as yet, I'm grooving to their tunes.

Happy Autumn Chipmunks!

Answers to Jimbo

Rain in SoCal

I feel the need to blog but have no subject matter.

It's raining here and at times it's looked like snow and sleet. Which frankly, would be kind of fun to have happen here. But then again, despite the fact that most of the people who live here are transplants from cold weather states, they become complete idiots in their cars in the rain.

Traffic here defies logic. It really does. You will drive yourself mad if you try to reason it out. I blame cell phones.



Many of you are waiting for part two to the United Airplane story, but if you look closely you will see that it is a self contained two-parter already. Part one was the story of the taxi ride and part two was the flight itself. I know it was deceiving in a way to label it two parts. I blame the "To Be Continued..." used on many TV shows from the 80's.

Did you celebrate Boss's Day? We did! I made a little b-fast and brought it in. We love our boss. He's the tops.

Work Ethic

First; the new Dishwalla and Switchfoot Albums are totally worth lending your ear to. So check them out.

I come here today to write about fostering a work ethic. It seems rare these days that people actually come to work and try to do their best.

I remember the early days of my advertising agency career and how many times I was raked over the coals for small human mistakes. Like small spelling errors (spelling always counts!) or even the ridiculous 'your facial expressions don't work for us'. I really laughed that day.
Every job since has been this way it seems. Always striving to meet and exceed expectations, always under pressure to do the best possible work and 'live up to my potential'.

I've always had an unparalleled work ethic. My parents instilled this in me from the beginning. It is something I am proud of and something that I strive to maintain everyday. And there were certain managers and executives that appreciated it and rewarded me for it. But for everyone of those (who I can count on one hand) there were ten who didn't really appreciate it and took advantage of it.

That is what I resent at this very moment while I am still sitting here at work at 8PM. Things are in a bit of an upheaval in one of the departments that directly affects mine, since a key person left about a month ago. The replacement is not up to the task, to say the least, and why the manager isn't pressing for this person to step it up is beyond my comprehension. (or providing the proper training)

It infuriates me in fact. Those of us who get the job done, and go above and beyond expectations on a daily basis continually get shafted while those who lazily drift through the day are continually afforded the bottleneck they create. (think Stapleton airport before they built DIA - It was the worst airport in the country and caused the most delays)

It's everything that's wrong with the world.

There is no solution. You can only hope that someone will eventually see through the smoke screen and put these people out to pasture or hold their nose to the grindstone. And those of us doing the work still persevere because we have integrity and the ever more elusive and highly valued work ethic.

I Came Here to Say....

...Absolutely nothing. I have no profound thoughts or words of wisdom today. Even the quote of the day is boring.

I'm a little disappointed in the Word of the Day from Dictionary.com. Today's word was palpable. Seriously. Come up with something I don't already know. If I am subscribing to the word of the day I'm obviously literate and have used palpable in a sentence before.

And the bright spot.... A little one's first urban pumpkin patch.

Next time... A Halloween Commentary

Redemption Comes

This is a two part story of a traveler.

We begin with Part One - The Taxi Ride to the airport last Thursday.
I've been using Yellow Cab exclusively for my airport transportation. And I have to say this last trip was a chink in their chain.
Upon being picked up I was insulted immediately by this driver, we'll call George. He thought my suitcase was too heavy. Now, it was about 20 pounds, which isn't that bad. I let George's comment slid off my back categorizing it as 'small talk'. Fine, no biggy.
George then asked me what the best way to get to the airport would be from where we were and I proceeded to tell him. Having taken a taxi from this location several times before, I have the secret taxi route memorized. George had trouble with my directions and seemed confused. Not really knowing George, I did my best to give him directions in an upbeat manner. George snapped, saying "It's not like I don't know the area dear." Then he blabbed something about how La Tijera to Sepuleveda would be shorter if not about the same distance and fare. It's not. It's farther and that means more fare. Then he went on to say something about how I objected to his route. To which I said nothing. George had clearly passed right by his utterance of - "What's the best way from here?" I ignored George the rest of the trip which took longer than any taxi ride of my life. George solved a Rubix Cube at every long light and proudly displayed the successfully completed cube upon our arrival at the United Terminal. I'm not sure I'll use Yellow Cab again. Even though George was early, he was scary and totally rude.

Next came the kiosk check-in. I am totally a supporter of this technology, but people can't seem to grasp it at all. So many kiosks and people just stand there like they have no idea what to do. There were three kiosks open and I politely urged the ceiling lookers in front of me to step up. They had no clue. SO then three people behind me cut in line and checked in. It was totally rude, but justified. I wish I'd have been faster.
When it was finally my turn a woman accosted me with her ticket because it didn't show a seat assignment. She wanted me to help her. I said, "I don't know. You'll have to ask a ticket agent"
Now, why in the world would I know about her seat assignment? Am I wearing a United Badge? No.
If you are going to go out in public and get on an airplane then you need to be brave enough to ask the people who are there to help you. Otherwise you A.) Deserve to miss your plane and 2.) should really stay home.

I've been calling United, "untied" for years. They have done little to lose that title in the years I've been flying their friendly skies. But here is where that all changes.
I refer you to the post about Sun Country airlines. (Please refresh your memory now, otherwise the rest of this will not makes sense.)
United can accomplish their beverage service with minimal lighting and efficiency to boot. (Not as true on this morning's return flight- but I won't hold it against them, just this once though.) They seem to understand that pouring coca-cola into a plastic cup doesn't take the glaring pink wattage of overhead fluorescents.
This one single simple detail has redeemed the entire airline and absolved them from past sins. A job well done! Untied no more!

I'd also like to give a shout out to the neck pillow. This small, yet pliable pillow is a must on any airplane trip. it certainly helped this non-sleeper, sleep. Hooray!

Tags: united airlines, wyoming

Hump Day at the Hump

I love sushi but don't partake very often even though I live near the ocean and in this city it's abundant. Fresh seafood that is.

But last night I found a special spot in Santa Monica that was four stars in atmopshere, entertainment value, and outstanding sushi.

The Hump at the Santa Monica airport is a gem. The best part other than the Spanish Mackerel sashimi is sitting at the bar and watching them prepare each dish.

All I'm going to say is squirming shrimp heads and I think you can understand how much fun we had there.

It also a total A-list kind of scene. I can't tell you who we encountered because it's impolite; like pointing. But should you venture out this way you won't be disappointed on any front.

Tags:sushi, Santa Monica

It Makes Clowns Cry

Put your own thoughts into this picture and headline today.

My list is way too long on what makes clowns cry.

Do the Right Thing & Sun Country is not in Minnesota

You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings. - Pearl S. Buck

That is how I'd started this entry but I have two other things I'd like to discuss.

First, let's get the WORST airplane ride of my life out of the way. I went to Minneapolis this weekend to see my good friends who are expecting their first baby in the fall. The visit was great, the transportation to get there was not.

Sun Country airlines needs to make some adjustments to it's flight schedule and in-air service priorities. If you are going to offer cheap red-eye flights from the west coast to the Midwest then you need to make sure you're little sky wait staff understand that passengers DO NOT need a soda at 2AM! We want to sleep. We need pillows and blankets, not sodas or coffee or any little crapcakes. Seriously.

For your reference, this 737 did not leave until 1:45AM PDT.
I do not have the ability to sleep on an aircraft unless I'm about to fall over from exhaustion. This was one of those times and as I struggled for sleep in the early stages and was just about to drift off, these wizards of airline service flipped the light switch and rolled that damn cart down the aisle (very boldly I might add) and let me just tell you it was like a five minute beverage service. Why? Because EVERYONE WAS SLEEPING!!!!!!!
Need I say more? Didn't think so.

P.S. On the way back they gave us a courtesy 'snack' which they called a 'cheeseburger'. Now I'm not really sure if it was meat or cheese, but I ate it. Why? Dear Lord, why?

Secondly, I no longer want to include my ruminations on this other topic I was going to include in this blog and will save it for another time.

Bad Gyms Abound

I hate LA Fitness. They have the most inconvenient locations in the most asinine places and nothing about the staff or the gym is worth the money.
There are never enough machines and the 20 minute time limit makes it a worthless trip to the gym. But it's better than nothing, I suppose.

Why do affordable health clubs have to suck? Why can't they have nice locker rooms and decent equipment and good locations and parking?

I can answer that with one word: Money.

Fully Occupied

I'd like to share this simple yet profound quote with you today.

If my hands are fully occupied in holding on to something I can neither give nor receive. --Dorthee Solle

Now, I don't know who Dorethee is, but she sure is right. How many times do we hold on to things that don't matter and feel stuck by the sheer inertia of it?

I feel surrounded by those who are holding on to 'things' and are miserable every day because they choose to keep this baggage in their heart. What can you say to them? Nothing really. Maybe forward them this quote.

As you were.

A Dog by Any Other Name

July is National Hot Dog Month and there is no better way to celebrate than at Pink's in Los Angeles.

You can't go wrong with the famous chili dog or the Martha Stewart.

Or you can just grill 'em in your own backyard. Because that's what summer is all about. But celebrate you must, because unlike cow appreciation day, this is an easier one to make happen. Take the kids to the ball game and have a dog and you've paid tribute to an american tradition!

All Hail the Oscar Mayer, Hebrew National and Ballpark!

Cows Are People Too!

The greatest holiday is upon us! What, you don't know that tomorrow is Cow Appreciation Day???!!
Well, suit up and moo all day long if you dare. I know I will.

If you are in the neighborhood, the Mecca of cow appreciation has to be New Salem, North Dakota, home of the world's largest Holstein cow, affectionately named, Salem Sue.

I've seen her many times up close and personal and she is a sight to behold. Go here for a virtual tour:

and here for her story:


If you go to North Dakota for no other reason than to see this magnificent concrete monolith then you have spent your time wisely.

I'm still writing my ode to Sue. I hope to have it completed in time for tomorrow's festivities.

Celebrate the Cow!!

My Time in Eden

I had a pleasant evening dining out with a good friend. But it was all shot to hell when I returned home to find that the two front living room windows - ground level - were wide open and had been left this way all day.

I really can't fathom the reasoning behind not being extra careful after your home has been burgled. I really can't. Please, someone explain it to me. Triple checking is always warranted. Because an open window is an invitation to crime! A big embossed piece of parchment saying "Come on in and take all my stuff!!!!!"

Please lock your windows and doors. It's a sad fact of the world we live in but no amount of money can replace the ring my mother gave me.

A Cautionary Tale

Where to begin? Well, let's start with the break-in that could have been so easily prevented. Oh yes, that's right dear readers, yours truly was burgled.
Luckily, the only items missing are jewelry, most of which was junk, but some was worth appraisal. Mostly sentiment was lost but friends, that's still too high a price to pay for negligence. Oh no, not on my part. I know better than to leave a window open in a crime ridden Los Angeles neighborhood, but my roommate does not. Needless to say there's something rotten in Denmark.
The bigger issue and hassle has been the upward battle of preventing the wiping of bank accounts, the stealing of cars and the possible theft of identity. We must be vigilant in our efforts to protect our information. A lesson all too often learned the hard way. It doesn't have to be this way. Keep it under lock and key. Check your credit report, watch every transaction you make from eBay to Ofoto and never let anyone coax you out of your SSN unless it's God himself.
And if this doesn't convince you just read Newsweek's latest issue.

And finally, I'd like to let you know the following helpful hints: If you are stung by a bee and not allergic make a paste of baking soda and a little water and apply it to the sting. It takes the pain away and the swelling goes away instantly.
And the best thing ever for a sunburn you didn't intend is plain yogurt applied directly to the area. It's fantastic.

May your week be drama free!

Why are there birds in Home Depot?

I've been to six Home Depots and every one of them had birds flying around inside the building. Can that be good?