I Blame the Media Blamers

Actually, maybe it's OK to just blame the media? Flaxey flys safely as predicted. Only 7" of snow actually fell (versus the 20+ inches predicted by the media to sell their newscasts). DIA stayed open (after they figured out they should plow the ramps).

Any Lessons Learned here? (Don't let the Guest Blogger loose while Flaxey plays in the snow.)

Signed,
The Guest Blogger

Fly on Flaxey...Fly on

Nothing excites the Denver media more than the threat of a good storm (except perhaps the illusion that the Broncos will go to the superbowl). The impending storm is being downgraded like a K-Fed CD in the bargain bin.

Fly on Flaxey, Hell is only half-full.

Signed,
The Guest Blogger

Exactly

This is What the 14th Circle of Hell Looks Like

I am now trudging, searching and digging, through site after site of weather maps, forecasts, radar, NOAA models, low pressure, high pressure and various fronts.

All in the hope that it will turn up some small nugget of information that will make a decision about my impending flight to Denver.

I am at the ready. I've researched the timetables. It still won't matter.



It doesn't look good and I have uncovered nothing except the fact that I've quite possibly made a serious vocational error. Meteorologists make a lot more money.

Nothing has changed except United already anticipates canceling flights and have extended their change waiver through the 30th. They are giving us a big giant clue right there.

If you look at the radar right now, you'd say, "Nothing is there, it's clear." I did that last week and look where I ended up; in the city of angels for Christmas by myself.

As someone wise just said:

Lessons learned are not always lessons remembered.

The Universe Has Spoken

If it was not clear before it is transparent now...

More snow is on the way to Denver


Yes, it's supposed to hit on the new day I am to fly out to try and have Christmas a week later. I don't think it will happen.

I must be in my own version of LA Story when the sentient freeway sign tells Steve Martin that the weather will change his life. Because other than that what are the chances that paralyzing snowstorms would hit in exact conjunction with both of my trips?



That is all. I am beyond any description of emotion. There just aren't enough words.

It's a War Zone!

The official word from Denver is "Forget Katrina, What about Us!?!"

For the record, I did try to prepare for the certain cancellation of my flight. I just didn't pull the plug soon enough.



The lessons we have learned; at the first sign of trouble, bolt! and never, ever, ever mock the storm!

Old Man Winter

Has ruined my Christmas.

The Road Home

The Weather Wins

I will not likely see the inside of any airport this holiday.

The whole city is shut down.

The only upside is that I am not one of the 3,000 stranded travelers sleeping in the airport.

And even though there is nothing anyone, anywhere, can do, I am sad and frankly can't write anymore about it because it just makes me sob.

Snow is the Devil

There's Snow in the Forecast, Flaxey!

Well, it has already begun.

Usually it starts once I'm already at the airport, but not this time.
Two feet of snow has already started to ground flights and wreak havoc upon the Denver area.

Will I get home for Christmas? That remains to be seen.

The reporter in me says, "Stay tuned for updates on this story as it develops"

Coming Soon to a Record Store Near You

I know, I know, record stores barely exist anymore...

So, I finally did something I was afraid of for as many years as I've been writing songs; I performed one for a classroom full of strangers.

Now, I have been collaborating for quite sometime now and have shared these songs with those co-writers but never, ever to more than one person in this fashion. So, since I am working on this particular song so it can be demo-ed, I decided it was high time to expose it to the masses and face the potential rejection.

It was my turn to sing and I was so nervous I was shaking, which probably hasn't ever happened, even when I was a first grader competing in my first talent show.
And when I was done, the energy of the room had changed and it was all positive. They actually liked the song and I left giddy and breathing a sigh of relief that I am not a terrible songwriter at all!

And since we're talking about music, I recommend the following, until you can buy my album:

Augustana, Dashboard Confessional, India.Arie's remake of "The Heart of the Matter", The Submarines, Ray LaMontagne (especially the track "Three More Days") and The Raconteurs.

Modern Inventions Worth Noting

Ready to Serve Bacon from Oscar Meyer is the greatest thing that was ever invented by the convenience food people.
It's quick, and delicious and so fast that you can never be distracted and end up burning it.

I was skeptical at first, I admit, and it may not be as economical, but if you are always burning bacon like I am, this is the best solution.

I would also like to note the Swiffer family of products for dusting and mopping. These items have been around for a few years now but how brilliant is it that you don't have to get out a bucket and a mop anymore to create a clean floor?

Thoughts Now Cost a Dollar-Fifty

I have let too many things slide by. I was jolted into this realization when an old friend called me out of the blue yesterday.

It's amazing how we let our relationships just fade because we are unwilling to sacrifice.

That's all this is anyway, this life, it's relationships.
Talking about them, living them, trying to have them, maintaining them, longing for them.
As individuals we cannot survive or be happy without them. This is what really matters. Yet, we are narcissists and cannot see beyond our own desires, our own fears.
We are locked inside ourselves and are constantly screaming to get out.

We want someone to know us in a way that we can no longer hide and still we are afraid of judgment, failure, unreciprocated feelings, reciprocated feelings and commitment (and I'm sure a whole laundry list of others).

But it's so much better to love others with reckless abandon. There is no consequence in that. What causes pain and suffering, which is always optional by the way, is the limitations we put on ourselves and our interactions with others, also known as relationships. These are the cages we stay locked in that are of our own making.

I know that I no longer want to ignore those ships I'm already sailing on because it keeps me locked in that cage, climbing the walls. It costs me nothing to truly care deeply about others. Rather, it's money in the bank.

Nature does not give to those who will not spend.
You only get to keep what you give away.

Gobble, Gobble

I will not be traveling this year for the day of the turkey. It is the first time in my life that I will be on my own and not with family. A fish out of water, if you will.

It was just not possible this year, sadly, airfares being what they were, even in August. In a way I am relieved that I won't have to go through the madness at any airports, but my feelings of melancholy and aloneness are only reinforced. Which I have been feeling a lot of lately anyway.

There have been too many hours at work, not enough sleep, not enough of anything, except stress and sadness.

All I can say is that it's time to dust off the "Manual of Change" once again.
That is, once I get some rest.

At any rate, I say Happy Thanksgiving!

Flaxey Takes the Train

I took the train to Chinatown with members of my Urban Family on Saturday.
I know, the train in LOS ANGELES??? Yes, indeed. It was fun and Union Station is so architecturally romantic and makes me long for simple days of wearing traveling clothes, a hat and gloves and hearing the "All Aboard!"

As I stood holding on to the rail, a man boarded and sat next to my friends. He had either a harelip or was in a knife fight and basically looked the hunch back from the Disney movie. As one often does you don't make eye contact and if you accidentally do, you smile politely and then look away. This occurred and that was that.

He listened to the four of us talk and joke and was amused by our stories as well. And as this was occurring, I watched him and thought to myself, how very sad this man probably is. I observed his clothes and the plastic bag he was carrying, his coat and his hair. I thought about his life, getting on this train because he has to get to work downtown somewhere, probably to clean up after others; that this is the only kind of job he can get because of his appearance and education. His economic situation will never change for these same reasons. He wasn't wearing a wedding ring, and if he was married he probably couldn't afford one anyway.
I don't think that man on the train ever had someone to love him. You could just see it on his face.



All of this made me sad for him. I thought how hard everyone struggles for every little thing they have. How all anyone really wants is to love and be loved. Which is really simple but so difficult to experience.

It made me grateful right then and there, that I, not only had three people there on that train who loved me, but so many others too and that I love deeply in return.

Doses of perspective always come along when you need them most, don't they?

Big Hat, No Cattle

When I learned this phrase and its meaning, I was enthralled. I knew it applied somehow and that it had brilliance in its many, many meanings. So, I saved it and tonight it struck me.

It is also known as 'all talk and no action'. But I like the cowpoke imagery better. It's more romantic and seems to imply a slightly more innocent and comedic tone.

I know these people. I am often times frustrated by them. Sometimes they make me cry. Truly, as in tears rolling down the face.

These are the ones that we hang on to and hope will change and give us what we want, but never do. They know the right words to say that make us believe they have the cattle; that their intentions are sound and true. With these words we are lured into trusting them and even count on them to produce those cattle when we show up on auction day at the county fair.


We believe them when they say we can lean on them in times of trouble.
We believe them when they say that they will show up on time.
We believe them when they say they care.
We believe them when they offer to help lift the heavy bales and clean up the barn.

Except when we've borrowed the F150 to get to the fairgrounds and then plodded through the dirt we find that the cattle are nowhere to be found and all that is left is the stench of manure wafting through the air.

I think they are afraid. Afterall, cattle can be scary.
It's a big responsibility to raise a herd and then be able to show them at fair.
An imperfect cow will cost you the blue ribbon.

But that's just it, nothing is perfect, nothing.
And frankly, every cow deserves a fighting chance.

What we're talking about is the integrity of words into action. It's so simple and can be so frightening. There is risk involved when we stop just talking about doing something and instead actually do it.

It's scary to tell someone that you love them. You risk rejection.
It's scary to quit your job and follow a dream. You risk a livelihood.
It's scary to allow others to help you out. It's scary to be the one to help.
Both require commitment. Sometimes physical, sometimes emotional, sometimes both.

But we have to shut up and stop spewing niceties and lies at people.
Stop saying you're fine when you're not. Stop spinning the truth because it makes a better story. Stop telling someone that you'll do something you'll never do. Stop going through the motions.

Take the big hat off of your head, and then even though it might take all night, head out to pasture and round up those cattle and bring 'em down to the 4-H building.



The rest of us are waiting with peach pie and cotton candy.

You don't want to miss that do you?

Enough is Enough

I wish it were still raining here but instead the sun has decided to reappear.
This does not match my mood. If rainy were an emotion that's what I would be.

Luckily, I'm not burning any food this time but my mind is heavy with 'things' and I did cut myself while washing knives. I think they call it the precipice of change.

I'm not against change per se but I am not a fan of the effort it requires. I'm already tired and I want to retreat. What is it with this time of year? I feel alone and melancholy.

I think that's all I have to say.

You Can Make It If You Try

You can't be beaten at anything,
until you quit in your own mind.
There is no failure except in your not trying.
There is no defeat except from within.

You have no really insurmountable barrier except
your own inherent weakness of purpose.
The odds are with you if you keep on trying.

Consider yourself on a very long journey.
Sustain your personal vision of success until you achieve it.
In the end, you can only fail if you don't try.

Winning isn't everything, but wanting to is.
Success is a road that's paved with perseverance.

THE DAILY GURU

Perspective Bites Like a Rabid Monkey

This time a year ago I was sitting in a hospital waiting for news about the outcome of my Dad's emergency surgery. Today I sit at my desk eating tacos, thinking about that week. I find myself asking what has changed since then. Am I where I thought I would be? Am I who I thought I would be?

What's interesting about those questions is that we often ask them but we always know what the answer is. "No, of course not."

I used to hang on to things so tightly; outcomes, emotions, teddy bears, but I've loosened my grip on those things more and more since then. Save the bear, that is. How can you let go of a bear named Howard? You can't, but I digress.

There are few universal truths and most of the time we ignore them. More than anything I think that "life (the universe, god, et al) brings you exactly what you need" is one of the most absolute.

Which can be a hard pill to swallow at times when it seems painful. But rest assured it is better to embrace and live than hide from it.

That's exactly what my Dad did. He didn't give in to the pain or give himself over to emotional misery, even when he wanted to. A lesson he had taught me all my life but it was never more clear until then.

That week I finally understood, loosened my grip on things that don't matter and that's what has changed me. That's how I am different. That's how I am who I am today, not attached to the outcome, not crying as much, eating tacos at my desk, thankful that it is a year later and he is still here.